The Thing about Cancer

Week Eight

February 23, 2013

(I blurred out what dad wrote, not because of what he said, but because of its meaning.  It is something special to me and I want to keep it private.)

Yes, cancer sucks.
Yes, the idea of cancer is always lurking in the back of my mind.
Yes, cancer is hardest thing I’ve ever had to experience.

There is nothing good about cancer, but if I had to pick one thing it would be this:

There are moments in our lives that are significant.  I’m sure if you were asked to list those moments it would look something like this.  First day of school.  Learning to drive a car and getting your first license.  Graduating high school.  Going to college.  Graduating college.  Getting married.  Having a child.  (I haven’t experience those last two yet, but I’m sure they will be some pretty big days in my life.)  A vacation.  Doing something new or daring. Etc.  All these things that would be played on a highlight reel of your life.

But what about the little moments that gets you from one big event to the other?  The ordinary things that happen on a daily or almost daily basis?  Laughing at something silly that was on tv.  Remembering childhood stories.  Family outing to wash the cars.  Watching Abby jump for joy while chasing bubbles.  Making silly faces and laughing till you cry.  It’s these moments that often get pushed away or ignored.  But it’s also these moments that mean just as much as the big moments, if not more.

These moments that I am more aware of because we live with cancer.

During the week of my birthday I asked my parents to write a little something for me.  As usual, it took dad a while to come up with something.  He is not one that openly expresses feeling or emotion and in some ways I was asking him to do so.  It took him about two and a half weeks to come up with something and he gave me the card on the 23rd of February.  He handed me the card and then walked away (I didn’t realize it at the time.)  I read what he wrote and burst into tears.  I couldn’t talk and handed the card to mom so she could read what he wrote.  She began to cry and then she went to go see dad.  His chin was trembling and he asked, “Too much?”

No daddy, it was perfect.

I would like to say that this note would mean the world to me in any situation.  But because I know what we have been through and that our time is limited and because cancer is in our every day….this moment….this note means more than words could ever say.  So I will leave you this.

I am so glad that he is my daddy.
I am so glad for this moment.
I am so glad that I have his words, in this hand writing, saved forever.

around here

Little Moments

Week Seven

February 10, 2013

Abby loves to cuddle, but only when she wants to.  She will let you try to cuddle, but after two minutes she is done and ready to move on…usually looking for food of some sort.  But when she ‘asks’ to be cuddled it is the sweetest thing.  I guess she knows I will never turn down a cuddle moment with her because last week she promptly climbed up into my lap and got comfy.  Apparently that wasn’t close enough.  Seconds later, she moved and nestled her little face right into my neck and slept there until it was time for me to go to bed.  She was happy and content and felt loved and she knows she will always be my little baby.

Scavenger Hunt Sunday | January 17, 2013

Candy

Pink or Red

Love

(Instagram @trulymegs)

Kisses

We got a kiss of snow on Friday morning.

Smile

A very nice surprise at work that made me smile :)

Project Life 2013 | Week Five

Hello week 5.  (Sorry for the poor photo quality.  I took these with my phone at night because I'm behind at sharing and I really want to get caught up.  Almost there!)

This week seemed busy and not all at the same time.  How does that happen?!

This page is full of random pieces from this week.  Miss Abigail snoring, a very interesting text message between me, my mom, and her friend.  Auto correct makes me laugh.  A few work things.  And a little documentation from (one of many to come) Cinderellas Closet giveaways.

Ali Edwards did a day in the life and I decided to play along.  I love the idea of doing this once a month, especially more for the word documentation.  This feels a little like my 12of12 so we will see where it goes.  I decided to document the 30th (thank goodness because I was home sick the next day).

I didn't take many photos on my day in the life so I just added some patterned paper for the back of the insert.  The right side has few more odd and ends.  Yes, I know there is a typo on the music quote page.  I'll be fixing that soon, just not on the blog.

I knew I wanted to add some text to this photo but wasn't sure how.  I decided to use some washi tape and I like how it turned out.  

12of12 | February 2013

First of all, I have to start off by saying today was a weird day.  And now, looking at my day put together in one view just confirms how strange it actually was. 

01.  The joys of getting ready in the morning.  I actually don't mind this part, it's the hair drying that I hate!
02.  My friend Brandi, who visited me last month, started her 12of12 project in January and I sent her a text to remind her it was the 12th.  So glad to see she remembered!  I can't wait to see her day!
03.  Today.
04.  Miss Abby didn't want me to leave for work.
05.  Sunrise.
06.  Our work computers were infected with a virus on Friday afternoon and we are still down.  Thankfully I took a book to work.  I finished it in no time.
07.  Some pretty in the winter.
08.  Since there wasn't anything for me to do at work and I finished my book, I decided to leave early and go with mom and dad to dad's 180 day transplant appointment.  It was spur of the moment and I hadn't had lunch so we stopped at McDonalds on the way out of town.
09.  Dad talking to the doctor.  We seriously have the best doctors ever!  Dad thought this appointment was going to be bad.  He has been talking very negatively and a lot about death and when he 'goes'.  It was very hard.  But the results today showed that he is in total complete remission.  (In November after his 100 day transplant status, dad was told he was in deep remission, which is a step lower.)  Insert deep breath, sigh of relief, and a huge smile on everyone's faces here!
10.  The Plaza.  While we were in KC we had to stop at the book store to pick up some magazines for dad and we stopped by the Apple store too.
11.  Mom drove home and we got to watch a beautiful sunset.
12.  Getting caught up on my Project Life album.

Project Life 2013 | Week Four

Hello week four.  I'm behind again the in sharing department.  Oops!  Anyway, this was a not so fun week for me.  Lots of tissues and sneezing and juice drinking.  Thankfully, I’m back to normal though.

This week was pretty simple.  A good portion of the cold, the entertaining car wash, and some little stories that happened through out the week.  Pretty busy for being sick and off my feet for 4 days if I say so myself.

The first part of my week shows bits of my cold a.k.a. part of a tissue box cut up (have I already become one of those people?!)  And of course, the car wash in which we found out Abby does NOT like at all. She crawled all over my car and ended up under my steering wheel where she waited for me to tell her it was over and help pull her back out. Silly girl!

Sorry, this photo is a little blurry!  I feel like the right side was a little more mashed together.  There are some random stories and photos about things that happened through out the week and they don’t really go together.  Oh well.  As is life, right?

On to week five!

Scavenger Hunt Sunday | January 10, 2013

The Small Things

Mom and I spent another morning over at my grandparent’s house going through the small things while getting ready for an estate sale later this year.  Both my grandma and grandpa are not here anymore.  This time it felt very real.  I miss them.

Illustration

While we were cleaning out a bedroom I found a scrapbook that my grandma made full of fashion designs from the 1930s.

Valentine

My valentine!  I just love her!

Work of Art

Window Beauty

Her favorite spot while visiting grandma and grandpa’s house.

Birthday Recap

Week Six

February 4, 2013

On Monday, I celebrated my 24th year of life.  It was nothing special yet perfect all on its own.  I went to work and was surprised by how many people wished me a happy birthday.  Mom called me and her entire reading class sang Happy Birthday to me over the phone.  (It was the new version of when my grandparents used to call and sing me Happy Birthday.)  After work I rushed home to eat a quick dinner before I left for a Junior League meeting.  After my meeting, I arrived back home to have cake and open presents from my mom and dad.  Mom cut the cake.  Dad took photos.  I got a mint chocolate chip ice cream clown cone.  Just like it was when I was little.  Perfection.

Week 5

February 3, 2013

I was sick again at the end of the week and I missed week 5 by one day. So I’m using this one from the Right Now series.

Right Now