12of12 | April 2016

I finally had the nerve to revisit this day and to put this together.  It was very emotional.  Dad wasn't having a good day and now that April is over I know that he had 2 more better days and then his final day.  

Things definitely have not sunk in yet, but I do know that I miss him and think of my dad every single day.  I don't think that will ever go away.

01.  Morning.
02.  It's not fair that these two get to sleep in after my alarm goes off.
03.  Private.
04.  Sunny skies during lunch break.
05.  How I caught this photo, I'll never know, but I sure love this little guy.
06.  Helping water the new grass.
07.  After work I visited dad.  I wrote this on my Instagram account... "Visiting daddy.  The best and worst part of my day all rolled into one.  I got to see him, spend some time with him, and I got to hear that today wasn't a good day for him.  He didn't sleep well last night and the mucus in his throat from the mouth sores is preventing him from allowing his pills.  He has finally lost all his hair, except for his eyebrows, and he hasn't had solid food in the last 9 days.  And then I cried all the way home."
08.  I needed time to cry and get some fresh air and clear my head.  So I visited my grandparent's grave to see if they finally got their headstone.  It wasn't there.
09.  Stopped by 5 guys to pick up dinner.
10.  These two greeted me when I got home.
11.  Rory enjoyed the new toy...aka new countertop packaging.
12.  D and his brother in law worked all night putting in our new countertops.  They look wonderful!

15|52 : 52 List : Ten : Royals Game

Week Fifteen

April 9, 2016

We are all set on Royals Games this year.  D and I both won tickets for 2 different games at work and mom got discounted tickets to a game through her work.  Even though I’m not much of a sports fan, I sure do love these dates with him. 

Completed: April 9, 2016

14|52 : Her

Week Fourteen

April 2, 2016

Spontaneous shopping days with her are the best!

52 List : Nine : 12 Dates: April : Cirque de Soleil’s Avatar

This was the first date I ever purchased, almost a year ago.  We saw a Cirque de Soleil show when we went to Vegas a few years ago and loved it and avatar is one of D’s top movies so it just seemed right that we go. 

I wasn’t quite as amazed at this show as I was for the one in Vegas, but they did an awesome job and I really liked the show (minus people taking photos with their brightly lit screens even though they weren’t supposed to…)

After the show, D told me that he wanted to see Cirque de Soleil again the next time they come to KC. 

So far I’m 4 for 4!  D has talked about doing each date again in the future (minus actually staying at the Elm Spa).  I’m so excited he is enjoying these dates for the 2 of us!

Completed: April 1, 2016

A Little Air

I need a little air, need a little air.

Just a little air.

It’s all in my head,

And I’m feeling so small.

I don’t want the world to see me.

This isn’t easy.

This isn’t clear.

It wears me out.

So hold on, hold onto me

‘cause I’m a little unsteady.

So where do we go?

‘cause even I don’t know.

I know nothing at all, but the pain of a heartbreak.

I head the doctor,

But what did he say?

It doesn’t matter what I heard.

This is worse that it seems.

To watch you through the darkest of your days.

How unfair, it’s just our luck.

Have you ever look fear in the face and said,

“I just don’t care.”?

If I could, then I would.

I don’t have answers,

And neither do you.

These scars will bleed in the pain,

And you can’t fight the tears that are coming.

So I’m holding on.

Tell me, is this real?

There’s no time,

But there’s no goodbye.

Stay, stay, just stay with me now.

I’ll go wherever you will go.

Because I’m here too.

I took your hand.

We're gonna make it.

Even when we think we can't,

We're gonna make it.

We're gonna make it.