Thank you so much for the lovely flowers.
The friendship and compassion you have shared with me means so much to me.
Love Your Friend,
Megan
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Goodbye Grandma
I was in the middle of one of my 'snooze' sessions after my alarm first went off when my mom came into my room.
She almost never comes into my room before I'm out of bed.
I knew.
"What happened? Did grandma die?"
"Yes."
"What?! Are you ok?"
"Yes."
And then she crawled into bed with me. She and my dad got a call at 4 this morning saying my grandmother passed away. The nurses had checked on her around 3:30 and had a conversation with her and 30 minutes later she was gone.
 |
| 1991 |
Velma Hower
January 17, 1922
July 19, 2012
9 months ago I had 4 grandparents, and now I only have one.
I've had 4 deaths in 11 months.
It really puts life in perspective.
How is that even possible?......
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
That moment when.....
You know that moment when you feel so helpless the only thing you can do is cry?
Hello. That's me. Right there.
The last week has just been hell.
It started with me getting some kind of digestive bug. If I wasn't sleeping on the sofa, I was running to the bathroom. This went on from last Thursday to yesterday, an entire week. Today is the first day I've actually felt fairly normal, but I'm still on mild food to try to get my digestive system back on track. On top that, I felt like shit. Throw in lady issues and we've got a party. And hormones that are on high. (Which doesn't help with what I have to share with you later in this post.)
That is all fine and dandy. Something that will eventually go away and won't be missed.
But life isn't that easy, is it?
My grandma isn't doing well. She is 90 and has pretty much stopped eating and drinking. She is frail and fragile, and tiny, and probably doesn't have much time left. Actually, we are in the process of putting her on hospice. If she continues to go this way, she won't make it a month. As awful as this sounds, she has lived a good, long life. Longer than a lot of people are privileged to. And so I am ok with what is going on.
What I'm not ok with, is what is going on with my dad. It hurts. It is hard to breathe. I just want it to go away and wish that it never happened. But life doesn't work that way.
In April we found out dad's cancer is slowly coming back. We has gone to see various doctors the last month. It has been decided that he will be having another transplant......next week. (Basically, the transplant takes a person as close to death as possible without actually killing the person. And then you have no immune system for 3 months. If you get a cold, you can't fight it off.) He has had tests done to make sure he is mentally and physically ready for the transplant. He passed these, however, during his bone test, they found an issue in his jaw bone. The cancer and the chemo is slowly destroying his bones and teeth. He has a tooth that is going really bad. They can't pull it, because it will cause major issues in his jaw bone. And if they leave it (which is the only option), it could possibly get an infection. If this happens during the transplant, he won't be strong enough to fight it off. But it doesn't end there. When he had his gall bladder taken out, the doctors found some cells in his esophagus. He had tests done on that and everything is ok...but he had to have it done again and we are waiting. The chemo that he has been on has a slight risk of creating a secondary cancer, and one of them is esophageal cancer. Everyone thinks it will come back fine, but there is still a small chance it might not.
Awesome.
The transplant has been pushed back about half a week because the transplant coordinators have suggested dad to harvest more cells for a possible 3rd transplant, if needed. Most people don't have a third one, because they aren't healthy enough. KU Med has only had 10 people have 3 transplants. But at least it will be an option if we are given the chance.
So, I ask you this. Please, please keep my family in your prayers. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, and it has to go smoothly and safely. It has to be successful.
The last time we went through this we had an army of people praying.
We need one again.
Hello. That's me. Right there.
The last week has just been hell.
It started with me getting some kind of digestive bug. If I wasn't sleeping on the sofa, I was running to the bathroom. This went on from last Thursday to yesterday, an entire week. Today is the first day I've actually felt fairly normal, but I'm still on mild food to try to get my digestive system back on track. On top that, I felt like shit. Throw in lady issues and we've got a party. And hormones that are on high. (Which doesn't help with what I have to share with you later in this post.)
That is all fine and dandy. Something that will eventually go away and won't be missed.
But life isn't that easy, is it?
My grandma isn't doing well. She is 90 and has pretty much stopped eating and drinking. She is frail and fragile, and tiny, and probably doesn't have much time left. Actually, we are in the process of putting her on hospice. If she continues to go this way, she won't make it a month. As awful as this sounds, she has lived a good, long life. Longer than a lot of people are privileged to. And so I am ok with what is going on.
What I'm not ok with, is what is going on with my dad. It hurts. It is hard to breathe. I just want it to go away and wish that it never happened. But life doesn't work that way.
In April we found out dad's cancer is slowly coming back. We has gone to see various doctors the last month. It has been decided that he will be having another transplant......next week. (Basically, the transplant takes a person as close to death as possible without actually killing the person. And then you have no immune system for 3 months. If you get a cold, you can't fight it off.) He has had tests done to make sure he is mentally and physically ready for the transplant. He passed these, however, during his bone test, they found an issue in his jaw bone. The cancer and the chemo is slowly destroying his bones and teeth. He has a tooth that is going really bad. They can't pull it, because it will cause major issues in his jaw bone. And if they leave it (which is the only option), it could possibly get an infection. If this happens during the transplant, he won't be strong enough to fight it off. But it doesn't end there. When he had his gall bladder taken out, the doctors found some cells in his esophagus. He had tests done on that and everything is ok...but he had to have it done again and we are waiting. The chemo that he has been on has a slight risk of creating a secondary cancer, and one of them is esophageal cancer. Everyone thinks it will come back fine, but there is still a small chance it might not.
Awesome.
The transplant has been pushed back about half a week because the transplant coordinators have suggested dad to harvest more cells for a possible 3rd transplant, if needed. Most people don't have a third one, because they aren't healthy enough. KU Med has only had 10 people have 3 transplants. But at least it will be an option if we are given the chance.
So, I ask you this. Please, please keep my family in your prayers. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, and it has to go smoothly and safely. It has to be successful.
The last time we went through this we had an army of people praying.
We need one again.
Friday, July 13, 2012
12of12 | July 2012
Guess who had big plans for today and this weekend? This girl.
Guess who woke up today sick? This girl.
UGH!
With that being said, it was really hard to come up with 12 photos. I spent half of my day sleeping on the sofa and the other half in the bathroom. (Thought I'd spare you those photos.)
02. I moved out to the sofa.
03. Above me.
04. I took a lot of naps today.
05. Some entertainment other than the tv.
06. My nap buddy.
07. So many remotes.
08. Sprite to sooth the tummy.
09. We got a nice little rain storm.
10. Something Borrowed. One of the many movies I watched today.
11. By 8PM I decided I'd try some more food. (I had eggs around 10:30AM.)
12. Someone wanted to cuddle.
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